It's Dark
by Darksknight
Summary: "Can I see you?" He asked, hands hovering in the air just before her face. "I just want to see your face again, even if it's only just this once." She didn't have to think about it. "You can do as you wish, Colonel." (Post Brotherhood; Blind Roy.)


I promised myself I'd never make a stupid lovey-dubby first time Royia fic. And yet, here we are. Enjoy the unedited wonders of the post FMAB drabble below and try not to groan at the fluff. Reviews loved and welcomed as always. Thank you!

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><p>It was dark. She could barely see, and it was troublesome, because she relies on her sight more than anything. She's the hawk's eye, after all- what use would she be if she lost that?<p>

She heard the tired shuffle of feat just beyond her bedroom door and took in a deep breath, gun up near her face as she prepared to turn the corner. It was odd that Black Hayate wasn't barking or attacking the intruder, but then, he'd had a long day out in the park- it was understandable that he was tired. She still wished that he'd at least be barking, or growling, or something. The quiet made it feel too much like another battle zone.

Still, she was glad whoever it was that had broken in chose her apartment instead of any other. She, unlike many of the people in her building, had the means to take car of an intrusion.

She slipped her finger over the trigger and prepared to take the thug's legs out, edging closer to the side of the door, when the nameless person hit something in her kitchen. They swore and suddenly she felt tired, old, and worn out. She lowered the gun.

"You should knock before coming in, Colonel." She chastised, coming around the corner with her safety on. "I could have shot you."

He turned in her direction and grinned. That smile of his has lost a lot of its shine, but it's still Roy in every aspect. "Sorry about that, Lieutenant. I would have yelled but I thought you'd be asleep."

She sighed and made her way to the table; eyes squinted in the darkness. She noticed her dog stretch and yawn on his bed, opening up one sleepy eye to make sure all was well before he curled up and went back to sleep. She set the gun down on the table before her as she sat, resting her head in her hands. "What are you doing here, Colonel?"

He laughed a little; nervous. "Well, ah, you're not going to believe it-"

"At this point, sir, nothing you could do would surprise me."

"Right. Well, I was trying to practice flame alchemy, you know, in case… well… and I set my couch on fire. So, Jullie kicked me out to take care of things after we put the fire out. And some how I ended up giving the cab man your address."

"Jullie?"

"The new assistant." He said, waving her concern away. "I don't know how much longer she'll be around. She's already grown tired of my… personal problems, I guess."

"In other words, she's sick of you and the messes you make."

He winced. "Y-yeah." Trying for a light attitude, he smiled again. "Guess no one but you knows how to handle me, huh?"

"Of course, sir." She wouldn't bring up the fact he didn't allow anyone to get close enough to know how to handle him in the first place. Every one of the assistants that left went muttering about the womanizing slacker, and to them, that's all he was and ever would be.

They were wrong.

"Sit down." Riza instructed. "I'll make us some tea."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

She stood and watched him feel his way from the counter to the table to the chair and shook her head. "You could have turned the lights on when you came in." She said, though the moment the words left her mouth she realized her mistake. _Fool_. She spat at herself. _How could you forget?_

He just laughed, though. "Wouldn't really help much, you know?"

She was glad he couldn't see her blush. "Y-yes sir. Forgive me."

"We all forget."

_We all try._

She turned the lights on and started to boil water in silence. Roy's head followed her sound around the kitchen well enough that it almost appeared as though he were watching her, but his eyes weren't focused, and if she paid attention she could see that his gaze lagged behind her as she went, following the sounds she left in her wake.

"How have you been?" Roy asked to fill the silence.

"Good."

"How is your shoulder?"

She reached up and put a hand over the ugly twisted scar that peaked out from underneath her nightshirt. Hesitantly, she answered, "Fine, sir." Before he could ask any further she asked him how he was doing.

"Better." He answered honestly, leaning back in his chair. He crossed his arms over his chest and sighed. "This whole blind thing is a pain in the ass, as usual. It's getting easier, and places I can remember or know really well are easy to be in. Though, I've still gone to sit down where chairs used to be and then fall on my ass like a moron."

She hummed her amusement and then, seeing the water was boiling, began to pour it into the cups she'd laid out on the counter. "You're adjusting well, sir." She allowed. "Before long we'll all be forgetting about your sight."

"I hope you're right, Lieutenant."

She brought him his tea and loudly set it down in front of him. He pushed his gloved palms over the table until his finger tips hit the edge of the mug, and then slowly he cupped it, bringing it up before his lips to blow the steam away. He didn't drink for a while and continued to cool it off.

"How is it?" Riza suddenly asked.

"I haven't tried it yet."

"No, not the tea… How is it? Being blind?"

He snorted. "Dark."

"Sir-"

"I know, I know, that's not what you meant. It's just…" he paused.

"Hard to explain?"

"I guess so. I forget too, sometimes. And then I'll hear something or smell something and I'll turn to open my eyes and look at it and the reality smacks me in the face all over again. It's just… it's so frustrating sometimes."

"I can imagine."

"I mean, it's inconvenient, sure, but I'm so sure I'm missing out on things. Little things. You remember when we went to find the Elric Brothers for the first time, in Resembol, right?"

"Yes, sir."

"I just think about how I saw fire in Fullmetal's eyes and I know I'm missing things like that. Just a moment ago, when you- when you forgot. I have no idea how it made you feel. I can't see your blush or the way you just barely flinch or your eyes widening- I- I can't see any of that."

"… I'm sorry, Colonel."

"It's not your fault. You don't need to feel bad I'm just… Frustrated. And…"

"And?"

"And scared." He admitted. His voice dropped a bit, becoming lower and quieter. "I'm so scared, Lieutenant."

"There's nothing to fear. You have us to protect you, sir."

"No, not that. Not that… What if… what if one day I can't remember? What if I can't remember how things look? What if I forget the way Hues looked, or what color our uniform is, or… what if I forget what you look like? What if I just feel like I'm talking to some voice?"

"You won't forget."

"But what if I _do_?" He put his cup down and pushed his hands through his hair. "You'll change and I'll never see it. I- I don't even know what you look like right now. As far as I know you've gotten your hair cut."

"I haven't. It's the same as it's always been."

"Is it up? Like always?"

"No… it's down."

He nodded. "… I liked it down."

"Then I'll wear it this way more often."

"I can't even see it." He scoffed.

"It doesn't matter." She firmly insisted. "What matters is that you remember. And if that's what you like best in your memory, then I'll let you know when it's down, and then you'll be able to see it that way in your mind when you're trying to think about what things around you look like."

"But…"

"I'm in my nightclothes," she went on, serious. "The long light blue bottoms and the pink shirt, with the fluffy pink slippers Fallman got me for the gift exchange, remember?"

"I remember."

"My hair is down. I just trimmed my nails, and the thumb on the right is bleeding." She reached forward until their hands met and then pressed her right hand into his, allowing his fingers to ghost over her nails. "See?"

He nodded once. He licked his lips, voice still quiet. "What else?"

She looked herself over. "I… That's it, sir."

"What about your face?"

"It's the same as always."

He laughed once. "Now that's a lie, Lieutenant. Your face is always different. You think you always have the same expression on, but you're wrong. You have a million different faces."

"..." She quickly quirked her lips up. "I'm smiling. Is that better?"

"Yes, but _which_ smile is it?"

She frowned again. "I don't know, sir." She dryly bit out. "It's just a smile."

"Ah, now see, _that_'s a face I can hear. Your eyebrows are drawn together and the left corner of your lips is tugged down just barely. And your eyes. You look like you're ready to just get up and leave without another word. You're done."

She pinked. "I guess you do know."

"Of course. _That_ is one face I'll never forget."

She hadn't realized her hand was still in his until she felt him lace their fingers together, thumb making quick circles on the back of her hand. She looked away from him. "Sir, do you realize-"

"Yes." He paused in his movements. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Do you want me to stop?"

"… You can do as you please, Colonel."

He nodded, and went back to tracing circles on her hand.

For a while they sat like that, hands together as he felt the ridges of her knuckles and the smooth skin of her palm. She sipped at her tea and watched on as he completely ignored his own.

"See, even your hands have changed." He suddenly murmured. "Did you break your finger in the conflict? It feels different. Bent at the side."

"I did."

"And you didn't tell me…"

"I hadn't thought to."

"But that's the thing. You- you won't notice if you change. I- I need to know. I can't see you, Lieutenant, I have no idea- I- I just-"

She pushed her other hand into his. "This one is the same, isn't it?"

He paused to feel it for a moment. He scowled. "You cut your nails, though, so it is different."

"But I told you about that just a moment ago."

"I didn't think you'd cut them _all _so short."

"It's the practical thing to do, sir."

"Hn."

His fingers traveled up her wrists, where he felt along the bone and pulse-point, silent as he did so. His index finger slipped up underneath the cuff of one sleeve and he suddenly stopped, drawing away from her entirely.

"Sorry." He gruffly managed. "I'm just… looking."

"I understand." Her tea finished, Riza stood and made her way to the sink, where she rinsed her cup out and then set it down. She took the time as a way to divorce herself from the butterflies eating away at her insides. _You are a soldier._ She told herself. _Not some giggling bashful schoolgirl._

Roy had been very quiet since his apology. Did he think she was mad at him? Surely he knew better. "Sir, you know I'm not upset, don't you?"

"…"

"I told you that you were allowed to do what you wished."

"I don't think you realize what sort of things that entails, Lieutenant."

Her stomach fell out. She took a deep breath in and came to stand before him, ignoring how hot her cheeks and belly suddenly felt. She was glad to see the red in his face, too. She wasn't alone in her sudden mood.

When she didn't comment on his addition, he sighed again. "Lieutenant… can I... see you? Not- not anything inappropriate. Just your face. I just want to see your face again, even if it's only just this once."

"Of course." She hoped she only sounded breathless to herself.

Carefully, Roy stood, and then with tentative palms he reached out and found her arms. He made his way up from there, quickly, fingers tracing up over her neck until finally he was cupping her face. He drew back just as quickly as he had moved towards her, and before she could say a word, he was slipping his gloves off- thus leaving himself completely helpless before her.

He again made his way up from her elbows to her face, fingers slower this time, heat more prominent without the barrier of his gloves between their skin. He brushed his thumbs over her cheekbones, and suddenly she felt like her knees were about to give out.

She noticed his arms were just barely shaking.

"Why-" She cleared her throat. "Why don't we sit down?"

"Here?" He raised an eyebrow.

"The couch."

"Black Hayate won't be upset we're taking up his space, will he?"

"What?" She looked over and found her dog had moved to the couch and was peacefully asleep there, ears twitching as he dreamed. She sighed and moved to wake the dog, but Roy put a hand on her wrist to stop her.

"Don't be mean to the poor thing, Lieutenant."

"Sir, he's not supposed to be on there. And how did you even know he moved?"

"I heard him while you were boiling the water."

"Oh."

"I can keep standing." He brushed his thumb over her wrist. "It's fine."

She just sighed and took his hand, leading him back into her room. "I'm tired, sir, and frankly I don't feel like standing all night." She sat on her bed and fought back another blush, knowing he could probably feel the heat rising in her face, and then watched with a tight throat as he carefully sat beside her.

"Are you sure this is okay?"

"Yes, sir, it's fine."  
>"If you're sure…" He toed off his shoes and then shrugged his jacket off, throwing the garment on the floor as he turned to sit criss-cross, facing her shoulder while she just watched him.<p>

"It would, um, be easier if you turned." He finally said.

Silently, she slipped her own shoes off and turned, putting a hand out on top of his to guid the apandage to her face. His skin was smoother than her own, but then- he was always wearing his gloves, so that made sense. She couldn't recall him touching without his gloves since the day she'd bared her back to him and allowed him her secrets of flame alchemy. After that, she'd never felt his bare hands again.

Feeling them tracing her face, rather than her back, was an experience so totally different, though, that she could hardly compare the two incidents. Those days were life times ago. She was a different person, back then.

"You changed your earrings."

"Yes, sir."

"What color are they?"

"Teal, sir."

"Light or dark?"

"Light."

"Huh."

She closed her eyes as he just barely pressed the pads of his thumbs to her brows, and then sighed as he moved his touch over her eyelids. He traced around her eyes and over them and paused to lightly feel her eyelashes. She almost had time to feel disappointed when he moved his touch away from the intimate area, but then he was at her chin, the both of them tensing- they knew what area was next to come.

He pushed one thumb under her mouth, in the small dip between her chin and her lower lip. Slowly, he moved the thumb up, feeling over the lower lip and the chapped skin there. Without thinking she licked her lips, to wet the dried area. He shivered as her tongue touched his thumb, but they both remained quiet.

"Do you wear lipstick now?" He whispered.

"No, sir." She breathed against his hand.

"You'd look pretty with it on."

"You've never seen me with it on."

"I can imagine."

"Then keep that. You're the only one who's seen it now."

"That's oddly comforting."

"Thank you, sir."

As he continued to trace her mouth they both tried to rein things in. What they were doing had crossed a line in the sand they'd drawn years and years ago, back when it almost seemed impossible that they would ever make it out of Ishval. He was only touching, of course, and it was her face, but the actions meant much more than they appeared to on the surface.

His fingers played over her throat and around the collar of her shirt before he quickly made his way back up to her forhead, feeling the area again. She knew they were heading for the edge when his addam's apple bobbed once in his throat, a nervous tick of his, and he opened his mouth to speak.

"You're the same." He murmured.

_Don't say it._

"You're…"

_Don't. Don't._

"Just as beautiful as ever."

A long sigh spilled from her lips as he plundged his hands into her hair, feeling the strands, pulling lightly and massaging her scalp. "Your hair is softer than it looks," He commented hoarsely- an attempt to pull things back into shallow waters even though he'd already plunged into the deep end. "Has it always been like this?"

"I don't know, sir."

"Your skin is softer here." He touched her throat, suddenly. "Than here," He pressed his fingers into her palms. "Why is that?"

"I'm sure that's how it is for everyone." She managed.

"It never looked any different."

"Maybe you just weren't looking, sir."

He laughed, breathlessly, and then she knew it was over. "Oh, trust me. I was looking."

She didn't understand why she went along with the game. The logical part of her mind was screaming at her to stop- to put him out on the couch and say goodnight; better yet, say goodbye and send him home. But this was _Roy_ her heart was saying. Idiotic, wonderful, sweet, stupid Roy.

"Are you flirting with me, sir?"

"No, Lieutenant. I'm long past flirting."

"Are you attempting something here, then?"

His hands stalled in her hair, uncertainty coloring his voice. "Not if you don't want it."

She didn't reply.

"Lieutenant?"

"I said you could do as you wished," she reminded him again.

"I still don't think you understand what that means-"

"I understand." She quickly butt in. "I knew what I was saying."

His hands slipped from her hair and to her collar. He plucked at one of the buttons there, fingers beginning to shake. "May… May I?"

"Yes."

He went through the buttons with trembling hands, breath suddenly heavier. He'd closed his eyes, she noticed. She wondered if he was doing it so that it would feel real or if there was some other reason.

He pushed her shirt off of her shoulders and then carefully felt the skin there, hands swiping over her scar several times. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"It wasn't your fault."

"I could have stopped them."

"Don't be stupid. You did all you could. It's no more your fault than it is mine- neither one of us could have done anything to stop it from happening."

He nodded, and then his hands continued down.

He skipped over her breasts entirely the first pass, so that he could feel her hips and her muscle-hardened stomach. Her nervously began to laugh when he felt how built she was, managing to choke out a shaky, "I think your abs put mine to shame."

She smiled in the darkness. "It's not a contest, Colonel."

"Good. I don't like losing."

When he made it to her ribs he slowed his pace, feeling the area underneath the swell of her breasts and then up the valley between them before ever turning his attention to them. He started by cupping each breast in his hands, thumbs feeling over the rounded sides. He brushed the pads of his thumbs over her nipples as he moved back and she squirmed, clenching her teeth together as she willed herself not to respond to his touch.

"I-is this okay, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Sir." She winced when she realized how fast she'd answered.

He rolled his thumbs over her breasts again, feeling as her nipples hardened. "Are you sure?" His voice was shakier than she'd ever heard it.

"If I wasn't sure I'd have shot you by now."

"R-right."

He continued his exploration, toying with her breasts for a while longer before reaching around to feel the ridges of her spine. He went up and down her back numerous times, some times tangling his fingers in her hair as he did so, sometimes tracing the line of her pajama pants where they clung to her lower back.

When she reached up and put a palm on his cheek he sucked in a long breath and then lowered his forehead to her unblemished shoulder. He pulled her against him, hands still mapping out the skin on her back.

"I can't feel the tattoo." He murmured. "But I can feel the burns."

"I'm glad."

"Yeah." He smiled into the flesh of her shoulder. "Me too."

He suddenly kissed her shoulder.

She gasped and pulled away, eyes wide. Even as she was in the midst of letting the gasp pass from her lips he was putting distance between them, hands frantically waving in front of him as he furiously apologized.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I should have asked, I'm sorry, I just-"

Unwilling to talk it out, Riza grabbed him by the collar and yanked him forward. "Colonel Mustang," She said. "I request you shut up."

"Wh-what? Lieutenant?"

She cupped his face with her hands, heart still pounding in her chest. "Just be quiet, sir." She whispered. Her nose bumped his. "Just… be quiet."

She pressed their lips together. His hands were on her face just as soon as she had, pushing her hair back, thumbs trailing her cheekbones. He moaned as she opened her mouth to him, touching her tongue to his top lip. He took control from there, one hand fisted in the hair at the back of her neck while his other still traced her face. "You're beautiful." He gasped as he drew back for air. He kissed her again. "You're beautiful." Again. "You're beautiful," kiss, "beautiful," kiss, "beautiful."

"You said that before."

"I mean it."

"I know."

His tongue skimmed the corners of her lips and then touched the tip of her tongue. For a moment he twirled his tongue around hers own, but then changed tactics, sucking on her bottom lip while she shuddered in his hands.

"Lieutenant," He moaned as she suddenly pulled back to pepper kisses over his jaw. "Lieutenant Hawkeye…"

"Yes, sir?"

"I love you."

"Thank you, sir." She turned her attention back to his jaw.

He stopped her. "Lieutenant?"

"Yes, sir?"

He flushed. "You… you… When someone confesses their love to you you're supposed to say something…"

"I said thank you, Colonel."

"I mean-"

She laughed lightly and pressed her mouth to his once more. "I suppose I might love you, Colonel Mustang."

"You're really killing the mood here, Lieutenant."

"What mood?" She pressed another kiss to his neck. "I thought you were just looking at me with your hands."

"I think we're past that now."

"Hm." She lightly sucked on his pulse point and then smiled when he arched his back. "I suppose we are."

He put his hand on her leg, suddenly, tugging questioningly at her pants.

She pulled his hand up to her hip and then began un-buttoning his shirt. The lights were off, and without the light she was just as blind as he was. "Just a moment sir," She whispered. "I haven't looked at you, yet."

"Y-you need so long to look, Lieutenant?" he gulped.

"The lights are off, Colonel."

His eyes widened in comprehension. "Oh." His eyes darkened and suddenly he looked very much like he was going to devour her. "_Oh."_

When his shirt was off he re-doubled his exploration efforts with the assistance of his mouth. He was no stranger to a woman's body, she knew, and so she wasn't surprised when she was fisting her hands in his hair as he turned his attention to her breasts. He sucked and gently pulled and rolled his tongue over her skin until she was just as blindly searching for pleasure in his body as he was in her own.

The male anatomy _was_ rather foreign to her. She'd had a couple of flings in the past; short affairs with men she had wanted to call sir in bed. They'd all been quick to go- or rather, she'd been quick to send them away- but she'd learned enough to be fairly confident as she took her lips to Roy's own physique.

She found herself surprised at how loudly he groaned. She'd always suspected that now and then he'd been less than innocent with women in his office while she stood guard outside, but with his volume she realized there was no way.

_That,_ she rationalized, _or he wasn't that into it._

Either way, she found herself strangely pleased. She wasn't the jealous type, and she actually rather pitied the poor girls who had their hearts broken by Roy, but knowing that it was _her_ and her alone that was pulling such sounds from him in that moment was enough to allow his hands to slide her pajama bottoms down.

Roy constantly brought Riza up from what she had been doing to his mouth, seemingly unable to stand their lips being apart for very long. He tasted sort of smoky the first time they kissed- like roast or something similar. The more often she swirled their tongues together, though, the more she found he was starting to taste like the mint tea she'd just finished drinking.

Heat pooled in her stomach as she realized why.

Before long she had his pants off and was straddling his hips, moans soft and quiet as he continued to push his hands through her hair. He would stop every now and then and feel her face, and each time he did it seemed to excite him more. He must have been seeing the expression she was making, and it was _definitely_ one that he'd never seen on her before.

"You're so beautiful." He said again.

"So you've said, Colonel."

"And I'll say it again." He nipped at her throat. "And again," He kissed her jaw. "And _again_," He bit her bottom lip. "Until you're as sure of the fact as you are of your name."

"You're so eloquent today, Colonel." She playfully breathed. "It almost sounds like you had that little speech prepared in advance. Did you plan this all out before coming here?"

He laughed. "Lieutenant, I've wanted to say that to you since the war."

"You're not denying you planned this."

"I've always planned this. It's just never happened until today."

"Is sex always on your mind, sir?"

"No, just you."

"I suppose that was supposed to be smooth?"

"No. It's just the truth."

She flushed red. "Hm."

She kissed him again, intent on showing him that he was on her mind, rather than telling him. She'd never been the chatty type, anyway.

Very soon Roy's eagerness was hard to ignore, with him below her rolling his hips as she left marks over his chest. She pretended not to notice, but she knew he was aware that she felt it- after all, she'd have to be numb not to.

Once the final layers of clothes were gone, he was finally able to see all of her. Skin against skin, he panted louder and louder, and then finally, brought back an old familiar line and twisted it for the situation.

"Will you come with me, Lieutenant?"

Her arms twined around his shoulders, face pressed into his neck, she laughed. "Always, sir."


End file.
